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The jokes

Beaner

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

Goat

What did the goat say?

"Let's play the grass!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣funny joke yes

Difference

What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?

An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!

Tongue

I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

Doctor

I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.

Memes

The memes

Hair

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

Child

How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?

Depends on who's hanging.

Suicide

Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?

Man

Women say men are trash.

Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...

Tree

The emo kid asked the tree for a high five. The tree left them hanging.

Roman

Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?

Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."

Orphan

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.

Paul Walker

Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?

They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.

Teacher

Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.

Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.

Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.

Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.

Pastor: You deserve to die.

- I attack