The jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because some kid was flossing!
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
If you're American coming into the bathroom,
And you're American coming out of the bathroom,
What are you in the bathroom?
European.
He drove too far away from the wall, and the cord unplugged.
Why did the chicken go to the mall?
To get new feathers!
Memes
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because his ethernet cable disconnected.
Yo mama so fat, she's the reason why Slenderman has no eyes.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football? Because he got all the downs.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?
What did the sea say to the sea?
Nothing, it just waved.
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
What is the best time!? 6:22 a.m.
Yellow is the best.