The jokes
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because it had no body to dance with!
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
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Memes
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
Did you know Stephen Hawking died in a game? The game was Happy Wheels.
Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!
What did the Autistic kid say to his bully?
ARRRRRRRRR!
People definitely have the N-word pass in Africa.
You're so ugly that when The Oh Hellos saw you, they were like "Oh Bye!"
Yo mama is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.
Me: uses the crucifix.
Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!
Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?
Me: The medication is the drugs.