The jokes

Football

Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?

Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.

Jedi

Why don't Jedis make puns that often?

They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)

Yolk

If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...

Memes

Woman

I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.

Dog

Why do dogs howl?

Because that's the other contraction they know.

Shower

What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?

A shower ma! (shawarma)

Bill

One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.

Fish

Why are Bengalis so fishy?

Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.

Grass

What's the difference between cars and grass?

They both have wheels, except for the grass.

Dog

All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.

They run and play along the streets of Gold.

Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...

Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.