The jokes

The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.

What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?

"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."

Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?

Him: No, have you seen where it is?

Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.

Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?

Dora, where do we go next?

Kids at home: Area 51.

Meanwhile,

Dora: Let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden.

1 day later,

Dora: WE DID IT, HOORAY!

I left Twitter for a while, and when I tried to log back in, I found out I was suspended. I realized it was a penalty for saying some prohibited words on Twitter.

Sadly, my idol Pristiano Penaldo took the penalty for me and he missed, and now I'm on my alt. Shame on you, Penaldo!

Straight people.

That's the joke.

Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?

Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.

It's not funny, I know.

Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.

If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.

Just to ask the other guy.

Talk about a male supremacist religion.

Ok, here's a story about the church.

There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.

My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.

What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?

Dumb right wingers.

One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.

Me and your mom in the bed.

Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.

Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.

Jane ate her friend’s colon.

Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.

Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.

Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?

For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.