The jokes
What did the orphan say to the house? Can I live here?
Enough of the jokes. It's time Togo back home. (hah, I wanna cry.)
Why does the orphan hate family jokes?
Cus it doesn't have one.
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
Me: Gay puns are the best!
Also me: But I'm straight though.
Memes
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":
"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."
What did the rooster say to the hen? Goodbye.
A Mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car, and the passenger asked, "Where are we going?"
The Mexican says, "I'm not driving, the drunk guy is."
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
Why did the duck say hi to the other butt?
Because he wanted it to smell good.
Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"
Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
Why isn't the athlete in the full bus? Because she is trying to fit in.
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.