The jokes
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?
The motherboard was nowhere to be found.
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
Why did the bean play Fortnite?
Because it had a beantroller.
Memes
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Why did the orphan chase the family? Because he was jealous that he did not have a family.
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
Captain of the Titanic: “Where’s all that f***ing water coming from?”
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
Why did the orphan say, "Help?" He needed his brother.
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.
Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out of the window...
Ta kill her.
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?
What did the butt say to the other butt? "I got big fat apples for butt checks!"
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out.