The jokes
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke? I heard he got the Nobel Prize.
Stephen Hawking only went to hell because he couldn't get up the stairway to heaven.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
He couldn’t climb the stairway.
Memes
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?
They couldn't beet the Nazis.
The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
All of the jokes are just abuse.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
Why did the orphan cross the ride?
I forgot.
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!