The jokes
What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.
What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?
High interest!
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.
Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol
Memes
We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.
Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!
Teacher: NANI!?!?
Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
True story.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Why does Job have an Area 51 head? Because his head is the shape of a 🦖.
What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.