The jokes
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
What did 1 pay with at the store? A 1/4 ;)
What did an orange say the day before going to work?
"Back to the rind!"
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
What is the funniest joke of all time?
Your face.
Memes
The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?
Palpatine: Slew it!
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
You're American when you go in the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but what are you when you are still in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein').
What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?
"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
What did the house wear to the party? A dress.