The jokes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.
A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said,
"I will serve you, but don't start anything!"
What did the doc say to the skeleton? You're skele-a-ton.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
Memes
One day you were at the store and you see you in a cart, and so you get out, and it was a mirror. ππππππππππππLol
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Why did the cow cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?
Looks like I've only got myself to blame...
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To show he wasn't a chicken.
How do you call a cop?
Through the phone.
(My puns are bad)