The jokes

I went to the store and I saw no oranges, and I went to ask the cashier:

"Cashier: Which one?"

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples actually get picked.

I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.

Yo mama so OLD...

Her first Christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!

Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"

Why did the qack go duck?

I don't know, rhydon deez. 4x2=8

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

F*ck in' the poo.

Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!

What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?

Mountain Dew.

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.

What did Nemo say to the emo?

"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."

There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"

Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.

Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

Me: My pop was a part of that!

Best friend: So sorry!

Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.

A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.