The jokes
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
Memes
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.
I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."
And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Where did the mouse go?
To the mouse-um!
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
I love the letters of the alphabet.
What happens if you mix the two names "Shannon" and "Stephanie"? You have the name "Shanny."
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!