The jokes
One day you were at the store and you see you in a cart, and so you get out, and it was a mirror. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Lol
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Why did the cow cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
The Ace of Spades was Hippy Flipping.
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.
You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
What did one mountain say to the other? Nice to peak you!
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.
How do you call a cop?
Through the phone.
(My puns are bad)
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
What did the doc say to the skeleton? You're skele-a-ton.
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.