The jokes
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
Why do midgets laugh while they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Why are the lines on the gay pride flag straight?
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
He's the best! Hehehehehehehhehehhehehhehehehheh.
Memes
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the most common theme in Africa?
Starvation.
People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Hold my beer.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Yo mama is so fat that she's bigger than the cinematic Marvel Universe.
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.