The jokes
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!
Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?
Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.
Yo mama has such a big forehead, she is the CEO of foreheads!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
Why is the homeless homeless?
Because it's homeless.
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.