The jokes
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and you can drive.
What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?
The nun has a soul full of hope...
What is the difference between the snow boots on a tree house that has to walk home and walk home?
What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.
Mom: Meet my boyfriend.
Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?
Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?
Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.