The jokes
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
Memes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Algorithm.
Algorithm who?
Think Algorithm to the store.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Why did the yeet yeet? It yeeted!
We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.
Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
What did the baseball player say to the bassist?
Nice baseline!
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
Spaceballs: The Joke.
I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.