The jokes

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

To be wanted.

What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Why couldn’t the bike stand up? Cuz it was too tired.

Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.

Why is the oldest iPhone an orphan?

It can't get the iPhone XI or XR. It doesn't have a home button.

How did the gay man die? Homicide.

When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.

You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔

What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?

The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.

Your forehead is so big that the teachers used it as a whiteboard.

How much does a chimney cost?

It's free cause it's on the house.

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

You're so emo, the sun turned black.

Your forehead is so big I could sell advertising space by the mile on it.

I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."