The jokes
"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?
Travis Spick-le.
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
They don't have anybody to sign the form.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
"You crack me up!" 😂
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.
Lucky for me I'm only 210.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!