The jokes

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.

Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.

I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).

When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.

What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.

Why do people want their grass to be emo?

So the grass will cut itself.

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"

Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

To get the milk and to get to the dark side.

What award does the Demogorgon get? A Emmygorgon.

What is Gaten Matarazzo's favorite song?

"Dust in the Wind."

Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.

So it can cut itself.

What happens to the crow in the earthquake?

It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂

What did the star say? It's Star Trek.

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

Jerry: What's the best thing about Switzerland?

Charles: I dunno.

Jerry: Well, the flag is a big plus.