The jokes

Q: Why was the pilot sad?

A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀

What kind of pizza can't an orphan order?

Familiar pizza.

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.

Why do orphans hate any milk?

Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧

Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?

It was called "S & N."

How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

What did the female dog say to the mirror?

Hi, bitch!

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

What is the difference between babies and dogs?

I don't eat dog parts.

What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, he just waved.

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.