The jokes

Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

Alps clear the mind! Haha.

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?

"Let's talk later, I need to catch a plane."

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.

My life.

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?

CORE-ean

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.

Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?

Oh wait, he didn't.

Skeletons love to be in band. They love the trombone!

My friend dreamed of being a porno star.

He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.

The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

What is the richest kind of air?

A millionaire.

Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?

A Corgi Potty.

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

Someone is adding dirt to my garden!

The plot thickens!

Why did the egg cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!