The jokes
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You're pointless.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
Stephen Hawking died when he ran out of data for the month.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.
Shut the hell up with all these Stephen Hawking jokes, hahah. I wanna kms.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
I tried to eat a clock the other day.
It was very time consuming.
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
What did one droplet say to the other?
"Water you thinking?"
Do you think the ocean is salty because the beach never waves back?
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.