The jokes
That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.
That's cringe, bro. The ex weas pisitive.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
Memes
What did the Los Angels Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breath? they gave George Floyd two squirts of zicam cold remedy inside his nose
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?
Hop on.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
Q: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere!
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
What is the richest kind of air?
A millionaire.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."