The jokes

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.

What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?

They both fall in September.

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!

What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?

Panera Sed!

Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?

He'll have you in "Stitches"!

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

What's black and found on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

I was at the bank yesterday.

A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?

Joe Mama so fat when she stepped on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.

Your mama is so fat, the wall couldn't support her picture.

Why were the Twin Towers sad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got plane instead.

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!