The jokes

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!

When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says, "Cutadoodledo!"

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

Why were the Twin Towers so mad?

They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.

No wonder why I can't find you. You're in the trash bin.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.

A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.

You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?

The seventh door.

Jeff crosses the US border.

The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.

Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

Where did Suzie go after the bombing?

Everywhere.