The jokes

Name

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs.

Orphanage

Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?

Dad: Sure, Alex!

Dad: We're here!

Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!

Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!

Mom

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

Body

I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.

Vegetable

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

Orphan

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where the home plate is.

Vase

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

Kid

One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"

The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"

Nut

The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.

Upgrade

Even the World Trade Center underwent a better upgrade than your ugly ass.

Pizza

A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.

Orphanage

A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.

Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.

Joe mama

Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.