The jokes
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
Memes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because they looked like me?
Sans: ... Sure.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.
What’s the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
I encountered a milf at a bar last night. Although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy.
We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time.
Then, she asked me flirtatiously,
"Have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"
I said, "Nope, not yet."
She drank a little more, and said, "Well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."
So she took me to her place.
She took out her keys, opens her door, turns on the light, and she yells towards upstairs,
"Mom, are you still awake?"
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
People are making end of the world jokes, like there's no tomorrow.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.