The jokes
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.