The jokes

Feather

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

Pilot

POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.

Clay

Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.

It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-

Momma

Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.

Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.

Silence...................punch!

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Cancer

What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?

Her dad didn't beat cancer.

Titanic

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.

Woman

What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.

Band

Did you hear about the Mexican emo band? They're called "Hispanic at the Disco."

Expense

Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.

Me: Okay, so an Asian...

Orphan

Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?

'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...

Head

What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?

A bullet.