The jokes
The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe thatβs what killed her!
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
When you realize the person reading this is a clown.
"Bye bye guys, I'mma leave this shithole, but look at my post in the community tab."
[Link]
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
Maybe the ocean is salty because the land never waves back.
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. ππ
Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?
A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.
Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?
A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking... J.K. Rowling.