The jokes
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
I put the D in Children.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.