The jokes

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.

Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”

Patient: “Give me the good news first.”

Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”

Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”

Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.

Enjoy!

What did the dad say to the kid?

Nothing, he went to get the milk.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad did not beat cancer.

I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

Why does the emo hate Christmas?

The ornaments get hanged, and they don't.

Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"

What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?

9/11 victim!

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.