The jokes
What school did we say it was today? What did the snow say? "I love!"
What is the difference between snow boots on Earth Day, today, after dinner, and walking home?
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
What is the funniest hill in the world called? Hill-arious!
The reason Steven Hawking died is he lost his internet connection.
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
What is the difference between a tree and when I walk home at night?
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
What do lemons 🍋 wear in the rain?
Yellow jackets.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.