The jokes

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I hit on the Twin Towers. They were hot.

9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.

What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?

The boomerang comes back.

The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.

"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."

The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.

I love my job at the orphanage.

Why are Americans bad at chess? They lost their towers.

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

Why did the orphan take a selfie?

Because he wanted a family portrait.

What's the opposite of an exorcism?

When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...

What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?

There's no Jack!

Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

To have someone to call "daddy!"

Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

A: The pizza can support a family of four.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...

Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Two antennas met on a roof and got married.

The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.

Why did Princess Di cross the road?

Momentum.

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start :)