The jokes
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
I went to the store, and yeah...
What was the first man made out of? Adams! (Atoms)
Did you hear about the Mormons?
What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house!
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The idiot chicken who just crossed the road!!!