The jokes

BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.

What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?

"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat!"

What did the rapper say to the SANDWICH?

"Wrap it up!"

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?

Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.

BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?

Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!

What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?

"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"

Why did the rapper cross the road?

To drop some STREET KNOWLEDGE on the other side.

Why did the rapper become a gardener?

Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS.

How do rappers stay cool in the studio?

They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT!

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?

He saw the climate change.

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.

So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.

“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.

“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.

So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”

“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”

As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.

Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.