The jokes
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
What do you call the heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson?
Jeffrey Epstein.
Why did Michael Joseph Jackson cross the road? To get away from the parents of the boys who stayed in his house, and to go to a store where boys' underwear was 1/2 off.
What's the difference between Michael Joseph Jackson and Richard Pryor?
One was burned by Pepsi. The other burned by coke. Richard Pryor married and had kids, and Michael Joseph Jackson molested kids.
Michael saw mommy kissing Santa Claus and asked her why she did that. Mommy said she was a good girl. Michael Joseph Jackson asked, "Can I be a good girl and kiss Santa Claus?" Mommy replied, "When you grow up to be a rich white woman." And now, we know the rest of the story.
What's the difference between Michael Joseph Jackson and Mickey Mouse? Besides being a disease-carrying rodent, and one a dangerous pedophile, Mickey Mouse can still touch and go near kids.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
LEO is the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.