The jokes
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
Memes
Sleep paralysis for the first time and this is what I see except it's face and body is way more stringy and hollow.
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.
They had to call an archeologist.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He didn't know where home was.
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.