The jokes
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."
What did the South Tower ask the North Tower?
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
What's the difference between Lana Del Rey and Milli Vanilli?
Milli Vanilli won a Grammy.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
A baseball player has a home to run to.
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?
Winona Hider.
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"