The jokes
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Memes
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?
The Doughker.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because he had no body to go with.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.