The jokes

What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

One eats tape while the other eats pussy.

Why can't the orphan play baseball?

It doesn't know where home is.

Why does Adolf hate golf?

He ended up in the bunker.

What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words:

"What the fuck is in this drink?"

What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?

NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?

Both get hard when we play with them.

I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.

What did the Titanic say as it sank?

I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Just switch off the lights.

What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?

They always getting hit.

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?

Batter.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.