The jokes
"Say what you want about the deaf."
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
Why did the pervert cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?
Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?
Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?
R. Kelly.
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.