The jokes
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.
My respect for you didn't just go through the roof, it touched the fucking sun!
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.
Yo mama so poor, the homeless donate to her.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
USS Liberty. Never forget.
It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.
Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?
Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...
What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?
So, it was you....
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.