The World jokes
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.
Who are the quickest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 34 stories in 4 seconds.
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
What's the most annoying thing in the world?
When you're told you're still qualified to live.
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.
Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.
Anyways, she cried lol.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.