Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on
Someone was walking down the street and they some neat, Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha
What happens when the twin towers breathe they collapse like a orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street and there lies a body...... what?
a guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if its relephant. he says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs
why could't the toilet paper cross the street
because it got stuck in a crack
Dead people can’t cross the street cuz there dead ha ha
Why did the black guy cross the street to check king van
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came he asked what happened, the turtle responded '' I don't know, it all happened so fast''.
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend so I fuck her, turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about. And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her but this time it was her Identical triplet. There 3 of them.... AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up. The grandmother says: Hey, jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad! Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks jantje to help her stand up. Jantje anwsers: No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad.
...two cunts were walking down the street. one was doing calculus, and the other one says, ' imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk....
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious he ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over they asked what happened and the German soldier said hail hit her
i was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street, when I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
I had bullies behind me on the street but they were too fat and slow so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
Me:knock knock Some dude on the street: who’s there Me: whowhowho Dude:whowhowho who? Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho
ME: when I saw an orphan on the street in rags also me: are u okay orphan: yeah what gave it way ME: because you have no family
I found a child on the street homeless and they were really nice so I took them Ho,e then I said who's better Biden or trump they said they support trump they r now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years
A women decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.
’About 32,’ is the reply.’
‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.<br> A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’
Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’
‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.
