The Street Jokes

What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map? Can you give me some pointers.

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restauraunt down the street?

Yeah he Pasta-Way

Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they cant go home

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn’t know back to school sales had started already!

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First ignore them until they ask you if your going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them would they get on all fours and bark back? After that continue to ignore them.

Why did little billy drop his ice cream cone?

Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?

Put them in a barking lot!

two hotdogs are walking accros the street one is walking slow what dose the 2 one say ketchup

was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."

Not a joke but still dc

So I am an emo dude so I sit in the back of the class and I talk to no one.But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me so I just ignored him.Then he got really pissed off and said “I’m gonna kill you”.I was like “Your gonna kill me just because I ignored you, is your ego that big, wow.”He left then the next day he brought his goons with him and said “now your dead” I ignored him again and he said “you will pay for this.”So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house then him and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died so I kept on walking.I had some rope traps set.This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emo’s.We have ropes everywhere.

One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up and you could barely unravel it anymore cause I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sisters killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!