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Gun

The Milkman

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn’t know back to school sales had started already

Atom

Anonymous

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”

Kid

Oz

Stephen hawkings is such a bad role model for our kids

He only ever looks one way when crossing the street

Puns

Anonymous

I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street

Kid

Anonymous

kid asks "what is dark humor?" me points"see at that guy across the street…" kid:"i can’t… I’m blind" me:"exactly "

Paul Walker

Anonymous

Why did Paul walker cross the street?

Because he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt

Priest

Anonymous

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?”

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?

German

Ya Boi

A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)

Day

Razor

I told my mother i wanted a brother for Christmas The next day i saw her in the strip club across the street

Prostitution

Anonymous

A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I’ll f–ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don’t have any money. She says ok I’ll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up fuck.

Smell

boopadoopadudat

I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

Guy

batman

do u guys know how to make a hoe in minecraft? you pick it up off the street.

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Man

Anonymous

A boy asked his dad for a some money to buy an ice-cream with. So he went to an icecream van. Whilst he was in the queue 2 boys asked him what flavour he was getting he told them strawberry. The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The icecream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice-cream for free. When he got home his dad also asked what flavour he bought the boy said strawberry. His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy confused walked down the street and was stopped buy the police who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice-cream. The boy said thats me and the policeman arrested him. A week later in court the boy was on trial. The judge asked, ‘‘can you tell me what were you doing on the fith of may’’(the day he was arrested) the boy said I was eatimg ice-cream. Yhe judge decided he was innocent. On the way out the judge asked him what the flavour was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course he answered with strawberry the judge horrified realised he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately he couldn’t change what had happened so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road

Means

COOLBOI

Brother 2(1): We have these weird circles on the street! Government is trakin’ us!!! Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And its the government. Brother 2(1): Then why are there two in the left turn lane Brother 1: So 1 car isn’t always going left and stopping the others. Brother 2(1): Then why are they 1 car apart. Oh to have 3 people going. Brother 1: Correct. When i see 1 car on the first. i go on the 2nd so my light changes. Brother 2(1): You monster. Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight? Brother 2(1):HA. yo mama would trigger the sensor. Brother 1. ARG. its OUR MAMA your disrespecting. Mother (brother 1):whats going on boys? looks in mirror HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY! Brother 2(1): i think you should take your pills. Brother 1: found them. imaginary mother and brother fade away thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him. btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

Guy

IDK

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Cold

Good night Trojan

Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relived. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. Nitrogen! The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good nigh-“

Man

Anonymous

Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.

Puns

Pun-Ishment

A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying “I’m arresting you for impersonating an office, sir”

Nut

Dante Medori

2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!

Street

Anonymous

Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall lol

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