I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn’t know back to school sales had started already

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?”

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?

Why did Paul walker cross the street?

Because he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt

A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”

I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying “I’m arresting you for impersonating an office, sir”

I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets. He said that he wasn’t always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

3 women are walking down the street the one on the left is holding a golf ball the one in the middle is holding a softball and the one on the right is holding a hand grenade they walking down the street and the on on the left gets tired of holding the golf ball and she throws it later down the road they see a guy holding his balls in pain they ask him what happened and he says i was walking down the road and a golf ball hit me in the dick they laugh and keep walking later the girl holding the women in the middle got tired f holding the softball so she chucks it they keep walking and they see a guy knocked out out and his wife is trying to wake him up the girls ask what happened and she replied we were out for a late night stroll and a soft ball hit him and knocked him out the girls laugh and keep walking the final chick holding the hand grenade but wanted to keep the ring so she pulls it out and throws it they keep walking and run into fat black chick laughing and they ask whats so funny she says i farted and the building behind me blew up

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the street?

Because it got stuck in a crack :)

3 women are walking down the street the one on the left is holding a golf ball the one in the middle is holding a softball and the one on the right is holding a hand grenade there walking down the street and the on on the left gets tired of holding the golf ball and she throws it later down the road they see a guy holding his dick in pain they ask him what happened and he says i was walking down the road and a golf ball hit me in the dick they laugh and keep walking later the women in the middle got tired of holding the softball so she chucks it they keep walking later they see a guy knocked out out and his wife is trying to wake him up the girls ask what happened and she replied we were out for a late night stroll and a soft ball hit him and knocked him out the girls laugh and keep walking the final chick holding the hand grenade got tired of holding it but wanted to keep the ring so she pulls it out and throws it they keep walking later they run into fat black chick laughing and they ask whats so funny she says i farted and the building behind me blew up

A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I’ll f–ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don’t have any money. She says ok I’ll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up f....

Why did little billy drop his ice cream cone?

Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: ¨I see you eye-balling that French girl!¨

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restauraunt down the street?

Yeah he Pasta-Way

Me:knock knock Some dude on the street: who’s there Me: whowhowho Dude:whowhowho who? Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho

After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.

I was walking down the street saw a kid slip on a plum. I look to my right and died of lafter because I did the same

Dead people can’t cross the street cuz there dead ha ha

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