That jokes

What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE

Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."

Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"

What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?

The steering wheel.

That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...

Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.

One of the students reported a school shooting.

That fucking snitch...

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."

My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.

This isn't a joke.

There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

"Stop being racist. You wouldn't put that for blacks."

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.

I know that my jokes are never punny but...

If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?

That number is how many dicks you suck.

I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.

What's that stupid girl in your class called?

Thot.

Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:

Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.

(I would never do that though I love puppies)