Teddy Bear

Teddy Bear Jokes

Night

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

Short jokes

How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her

Stork

I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.

In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.

Rape

How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?

By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.

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    Why did the little girl cry twice?

    Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.

    Orphan

    I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.

    Gym

    Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?

    Because he didn't want to get ripped.

    Dinosaur

    1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

    A dino-snore!

    2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

    A rocket chip!

    3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

    Because she was stuffed!

    4. What has ears but cannot hear?

    A cornfield!

    5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

    Between us, something smells!

    Bear

    Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?

    He was stuffed.

    Toy

    Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.

    Turkey

    Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?

    Because he was too stuffed.

    Water Bottle

    The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"