Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one eyed grape 🍇
About a dog
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
Why dose a duck have tail feathers? To cover his butt-quack
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
