Strategy Jokes

“If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag.”

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

society is like chess, its always whites vs blacks

Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.

Why are Nepalese bad at chess? Cause someone already killed their king 👑

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.

I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"

life is like a game of chess, i don’t know how to play chess

I played Clash of Clans and when I requested troops, all i got were some muslim wall breakers.

9/10/01

Bush: “Ok i e got this just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan”

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him. I asks him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised, he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game

If at first you don't succeed, CHEAT.

he plays fortnite just to build walls

how did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing! haha

North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first. Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first." The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die." Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."