Strategy jokes
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
How can a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?
She can clean her crack and sell it again.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
"No towers? :("
"No queen? :("
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost 2 towers.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
In British chess I guess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without 2 towers.