Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking jokes

Clothing

The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.

Attraction

When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."

Death

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because he forgot to plug in the charger.

Update

Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.

People

Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?

Stairway

How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?

Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.

Wall

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.

Comedy

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

Bible

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

Battery

For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.

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  • Night

    What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?

    Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.

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  • Name

    What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?

    Stephen Walkins.

    Battery

    Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?